Remembering our Mamasita Margarita - Margarita and Linda Anne Regan Casillo

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Remembering our Mamasita Margarita

She was right about so many things.

I have found myself going to the cemetery just to tell her so.
My mother always believed that when you pass away,
a part of you still stays with your loved ones.

I guess the Puerto Rican in her was always "Supersticious".
I truly believe that she was right.

She always told me to listen to my instincts.
Sometimes, things may seem crazy.

But, I should always listen to my instincts.

I believe that in one way or another they are here as angels.
They are here to guide us.

It is weird. I have dreams now and then of them.
They are so real. I can smell them and touch them.
I could cry to them.

And sometimes, those dreams really do tell me
something that makes sense in life.

So, I just go with it.

Life is too short to live with regrets.

I have learned from my many mistakes in life.

I even pray for those lost souls.
I pray for them every day.

I learned you should pray for your enemies
as well as your friends.

You should never lose hope
that things will work out in the end.

I am content.
I truly believe that everything, happens for a reason.

It doesn't matter how strange or painful.

There is always a reason.
So, it is up to you whether you live your life for you.

IN LOVING MEMORY OF OUR MAMASITA
MARGARITA
"SEPTEMBER 15, 1957 - APRIL 7, 2004"

Margarita was born September 15, 1957

SHE WAS A MOTHER OF 3 CHILDREN,

Susana M. Eldest

LINDA ANNE SECOND ELDEST

JOHN JR. ONLY SON

She was a hardworking, kind hearted, and wonderful nurse.
She started at Allentown Hospital back in the 1980's.

Then she worked at Gottlieb Memorial Hospital in

Melrose Park after we moved to Illinois.

She became a home health nurse

for various agencies.

She was loved by almost everyone she met.

Well, besides those whom now live with certain regrets.

And made and everlasting impression in their lives.

She is forever missed.

SHE WAS VERY PROUD TO BE PUERTO RICAN.

HER FAVORITE COLOR WAS PURPLE.

MOM WAS HEARTBROKEN WHEN LINDA died
ON MAY 28, 2001 IN THE PLANTATIONS OF FLORIDA.
LINDA WAS 24 YEARS OLD.

FREAKY BECAUSE A PSYCHIC HAD TOLD MOM AND LINDA THAT MOM WOULD DIE AT 42.

WELL, WHEN LINDA DIED MOM WAS 42 AND LINDA WAS 24 YEARS OLD.

She loved her 3 dogs Chico, Sassy and Boo boo.

My mom loved her animals. She had 3 doggies.

Chico, Sassy and Boo Boo. They were her life.

And it seems fitting , to support the little ones she loved soo much.

Chico and Sassy live with me til this very day.

BooBoo passed away September 13, 2008. It was just two days before my mom's angelbirthday.

I wasn't expecting to lose him. And it felt like I lost a piece of my mother all over again.
Yep, there were a part of her and they are now a part of me.

I guess it keeps me feeling close to her.

As, I am sure she would have wanted them taken care of by someone who loved her and loved animals.

Although, she always said she wanted them buried with her.
Yeah, that still kind of freaks me out, so, I would rather love them til she sees them in Heaven.

If she could have given birth to them, she would have.

So, I have to remember that about her.

MOM ALWAYS WORKED HARD TO GIVE US EVERYTHING WE NEEDED.
I NEVER KNEW JUST HOW HARD SHE WORKED, UNTIL I BECAME A MOM MYSELF.
I USE TO ALWAYS BE JEALOUS OF THE
RELATIONSHIP MY MOM AND SISTER HAD.

BUT, I UNDERSTAND NOW.

AND I ONLY PRAY THAT LINDA CALLED FOR MOM

TO BE THE NEXT ANGEL TO KEEP HER COMPANY IN HEAVEN.

LORD KNOWS, BEING HERE WITHOUT THEM IS HARD ENOUGH.

BUT, I HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT I WAS LEFT HERE FOR A PURPOSE.

AND THE PURPOSE TO IS TO SHARE THEIR STORIES

AND USE IT TO EDUCATE PEOPLE AND HELP SAVE OTHER LIVES.

I still cry of course.
I remember all the good moments on the holidays as well as the crazy ones.
I remember the tradional meals. I remember my mom always freaking out over the house being spotless.

Linda was of course the big neat freak.

Then there were the traditional family gatherings.
We had a lot of cousins, second cousins, great aunts and uncles.

It was a blast.
I miss them so much.
I would almost give anything to be a kid again.

So, now, we have our traditional holidays meals.
We have our thanksgiving turkey, homemade mashed potatoes (Linda taught me to make, rolls and apple pie(mom's favorite).

And of course, a beautiful Christmas tree with lots of lights and bows.

When the time comes, I will still be the one here. The only one left of my mother and sister.
The one to share it all with all of our kids.

After all, there isn't a single person left in their lives to tell them all their dreams and love they had for them.

Margarita was the abuelita to 6 grandchildren.
Ashley Marie, Margarita Maria, Mina Tonia Mykela, Christian James Matthew, Nicolas Anthony, and Gabriel James Michael

Mom loved the pool just as much as her granddaughter.
She was always a beach baby.

Her parents were Diogenes Estrella and Maximina Santana.

Abuelita now lives with myself and my family.

She will be with me until she meets my mom up in heaven.

She became an angel on April 7, 2004.
She was 46 years old.

Mom loved her familia.

She always bragged about being a young and beautiful grand mother.
It was cool.

We carry our mother and sister in us always.
We treasure every memory. Let it be good or bad.

They all touched our lives or taught us a lesson of some sort.

This year especially, has brought me many lessons.

I can't tell you how many times I heard my mom say I told you so.

I remember every time she would say,
"One day, you will understand.
I can't explain it, you will understand.
You will know that I wasn't crazy after all."

Lord, knows she was right after all.

She taught me that it was worth it to live every moment
the way you want.

If you saw something you wanted, buy it.

She never let anyone stand in her way.

She had a smile that would ligtht up a room.

Mom and Linda both loved to have fun.

They had a way of adding some excitement to life.
I really miss that about them.

They would never put anyone before their children and their families.
Sadly, several will not grow up with that same philosophy.

You see, despite everything,
I kept the moral values of my mother's teachings.

I truly believe the environment is what makes
or breaks a child's true growth.
So, no matter what faults my family has been accused of,

"NO ONE IS PERFECT!"

The importance of taking the goodness and morals is what counts!

Even more so, remembering to
NEVER FORGET THAT WITHOUT THE BAD THERE CAN NEVER BE GOOD!
I will NEVER FORGET MY MOTHER OR MY SISTER!

They were my strength in so many ways.
We love you Mommy and Linda, wherever you are.

http://www.christianmemorials.com/tributes/margarita-regancasillo/biography/

and

http://www.catholicmemorials.com/tributes/margarita-regancasillo/biography/

and

http://www.angelfamilies.cityslide.com/page/page/3831851.htm

Susana

March 6, 2009

I love you Mommy

I miss you soo much. I wish I could ask you so many things. So, much seems so unfair. But, I love you and remember everything you taught me. I know you would be shocked to know this.

I listened more than you think. I wish I could fix so many things. I am so drained and tired. But, I am determined to get through it no matter what it takes.

Send hugs and kisses to Linda, Pop, BooBoo, always know I remember.

Chico and Grandma had good birthdays this year. Oh, and James bought me 2 dozen Roses for Valentine's day. I was the only girl in the whole restaurant with Roses waiting at the table. It was AWESOME! I wish you could have seen it ma.

I wish you could have seen it.

xoxox

Para Siempre en mi Corazon

Susana M.

Susana M. Regan Cloutier daughter

August 23, 2008

I love you

I will always remember how much you did for us. I hope that I can repay you at least a little by caring for the doggies and now Abuelita.

Please keep angel hugs with me and my boys during my journey. I am a little scared ma.

I love you soo much.

xoxoxox

Susana

Susana Regan

April 3, 2008

Remember My Name

this poem is the copyright of Susana M. Regan
Please do not copy.

"Remember My Name"

In loving memory of all who

suffered from

Domestic Violence

By Susana M. Regan

Do you remember me?

Do you remember my name?

I am the one who's life is no longer the same

Do you remember my story?

The one that's untold?

If not, then you will

By the time it unfolds.

Remember my name

For you will see,

We are one in the same you and me.

Love can be blind

Although

you can see

No matter how good

Things may appear to be

Violence is always

Lingering around.

Just look and see

there is so much

To be found

Remember my name!

For I too once carried,

The look of shame

Before I was buried

This couldn't possibly happen to me

There is no doubt!!

No one could ever really find out!

Violence in my life?

This just couldn't be!

I am supposed to be strong

I am supposed to be free

Rememember my name

For I once was also too

Scared to ask for help

The thought of being a victim,

I coud've never dealt!

Remember my name

The one who's story was untold?

I am the one

who will never grow old.

I am the one who has children

who are now alone

I am the one who should've known

Be careful of something too good to be true

Remember

my

name!!!

My name could be you!

You can have fortune

And you could have fame,

But, violence can happen to us all just the

same.
Take a look of where I am now!

Sleeping six feet down under

my voice has no

sound.

Remember my name,

before you are the next one to be

found!

By :

Susana M. Regan

copyright @ October 1, 2005

http://www.myspace.com/stopdomesticviolence

Susana Regan

April 3, 2008

God Bless my Mother

God Bless My Mother A POEM By Susana M. Regan 1/12/04

GOD BLESS MY MOTHER

BLESS HER HEART
BLESS HER SOUL

PLEASE KEEP HER UP IN HEAVEN,
WITH HER LOVED ONES
TO WHOM SHE'S ALREADY BELONGED

GOD PLEASE LET HER BE MY ANGEL
NOW THAT SHE'S AT ETERNAL REST

PLEASE LET HER CONTINUE TO GUIDE ME

SO, I MAY TAKE CARE OF THE REST OF US THAT ARE STILL LEFT

PLEASE LET HER SPIRIT GUIDE ME
TO HEAL THE PAIN IN MY HEART.

PLEASE HELP ME FIND THE STRENGTH
TO CONTINUE TO SURVIVE ON.

GOD PLEASE BLESS MY DEAR MOTHER.

SHE'S DONE SO MUCH FOR THE WORLD.

LET HER KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE HER
AND THAT I WISH SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO GO.

PLEASE LET HER KNOW I'LL STILL NEED HER.
NO MATTER WHAT SHE THINKS

AND IN MY HEART, I'LL ALWAYS HOLD HER LOVE AND MEMORIES, UNTIL WE AGAIN WILL MEET

GOD BLESS MY MOTHER NOW THAT YOU HAVE HER SOUL

PLEASE TELL HER I SAID "THANKYOU" AND "I LOVE YOU"
BEFORE YOU HAVE TO GO.

"IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY MOTHER MARGARITA"
I LOVE YOU MOMMY ALWAYS AND FOREVER.
SUSANA

"PLEASE DO NOT COPY THIS POEM. COPYRIGHTS BELONG TO SUSANA M. REGAN "

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